Valentine’s Day Is a Scam! (But Here’s How to Play the Game)

Every February, like clockwork, the world turns pink and red. Heart-shaped boxes appear out of nowhere. Algorithms flood your feed with ads for jewelry, overpriced flower arrangements, and captions that read something like “Love is in the air” (as if love weren’t just another marketable concept).

And suddenly, we’re all supposed to pretend that love looks like dinner reservations and frantic last-minute gift shopping.

Valentine’s Day is a scam. And I don’t mean that in a cool, counterculture way—I mean it in the most literal, capitalism-has-you-by-the-throat way. It’s an industry.

Somewhere, a boardroom of executives is strategizing how to make you believe that your worth—your capacity for love—is tied to how much money you drop on a day that, honestly, wasn’t that deep to begin with.

SEE MORE: Louis Vuitton’s Love Letter for Valentine’s Day

But here’s the thing: opting out completely? That’s almost impossible.

You can make all the anti-capitalist declarations you want, but at the end of the day, we live in a world where love—like everything else—is a currency. So instead of being chewed up by the machine, let’s talk about how to play the game without losing yourself in it.

Redefine the rituals

Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about love, but no one said it had to be romantic love. Love your friends. Love your dog. Love your absurdly overpriced oat milk latte.

More importantly, love yourself. Make the day about what actually makes you feel good, not what Hallmark dictates.

Solo movie date? Done. A night in with your best friends dissecting why everyone in Normal People needs therapy? Even better.

Stop letting capitalism define your relationships

This isn’t to say gifts are bad. Gifts are great! But don’t let them be the foundation of your relationships.

If your partner (or situationship—because, let’s be real, commitment is terrifying) needs a fancy dinner to prove your love, that’s not romance; that’s consumerism disguised as intimacy.

Real love is a Tuesday night grocery run, or sending someone a song because you heard it and thought of them.

If you’re gonna play, play smart

If Valentine’s Day means something to your partner, acknowledge it. Not because capitalism says so, but because emotional intelligence is sexy.

Just don’t fall for the gimmicks. The most meaningful gifts tend to be the least expensive ones—writing someone a letter, making them a playlist, showing up in a way that actually matters.

Embrace the chaos of modern romance

Love today is weird. It’s defined by late-night texts, “what are we?” conversations, and soft launches on Instagram stories. That’s okay.

Don’t feel pressured to package your love into a neat little box just because a calendar date says you should. Define love on your own terms, even if those terms are messy, ambiguous, and entirely your own.

At the end of the day, love is too big—too strange, too human—to be contained by a single day, let alone one that profits off of your desperation.

So, by all means, engage in the Valentine’s Day spectacle if you want to. Just don’t forget who’s actually in control of your love story. (Hint: it’s not Hallmark.)

Photos courtesy IMDB